Sometimes I think I have the best seat in church. From here I can see who is rushing into the parking lot just as the service is beginning.
From the expressions on your faces I can often tell who has had a bad week and who is wishing they were really worshiping at the church of Saint Mattress.
I revel in your smiles and hurt when I see your tears. I can see your knowing glances and all the numerous hugs and kisses that get exchanged on a Sunday morning.
When I look out at each of you, especially when we are singing hymns, I see faces that are sad and faces full of joy. I see young faces and the faces of our elders.
I see faces that I have known for many years and faces of those I just met this morning.
I see singles and families; I see partners and lovers, I see families, I see individuals who are filled with commitment and caring; but what I cannot see, is how it goes with your soul.
I cannot see the joys and sorrows that are held deeply within your hearts. I cannot see the frustrations and disappointments. I cannot see the hurts and the insults.
This sermon was originally scheduled to be given last February, very near Valentine's Day, but due to our only significant snowstorm just a handful of brave souls came out to hear it. But it's a message that I believe is worth repeating...it is a message about love and commitment.
I think this early May weekend is a perfect time for a message about love.
The composers Lerner and Lowe captured the essence of May when they wrote "It's May! That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray...It's here, that shocking time of year! When tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear."
According to old pagan traditions this was the time of year to celebrate love and fertility. This afternoon Brenda will remind us that the annual celebration of Beltane commemorates the wedding day of the Goddess and the God; that it is a day of sacred marriage and a night of holy unions.
This afternoon many members of this congregation will participate in our annual May Pole ritual. If you have not participated in this event before I highly encourage you to give it a try.
So, indeed, May is just as good a time as Valentine's Day to speak of love and who is more articulate on this subject than the old bard himself, William Shakespeare. One of Shakespeare's best-loved sonnets seems to get right to the heart of what I want to say this morning. Here is what he wrote:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no, it is an ever-fixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his heighth be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. Sonnet 116
Truly, on this beautiful May morning, let us stand up for the marriage of true minds; let us not be an impediment to its truest expressions and let us stand on the side of love for love is love and it will forever find a way to be expressed.
But not everyone believes that love is an equal opportunity experience. At least 11 states have approved constitutional amendments to outlaw gay nuptials and this November the issue will be on the ballot in Virginia. No doubt it is only a matter of time before there is a national referendum on this question.
Those of us who support civil marriage and oppose the proposed Virginia marriage amendment cannot assume that everyone understands how the denial of marriage is harmful to an entire class of our citizens.
We have to challenge each other and ourselves to make a more substantive, moral case for what we stand for.
It is not enough to say we are for marriage equality, and then wait for the courts or legislators to do the heavy lifting. Rather, it is our job to take every opportunity to address people's concerns and discomfort, answer questions, and give them the time and information they need.
Usually, when straight folk talk about marriage, they speak of love, clarity, security, respect, family, intimacy dedication, self-sacrifice and equality — the very same words that gay and lesbian couples use to describe their deep commitments to one another.
Currently, married heterosexual couples are entitled to literally hundreds of rights and protections that are denied to gay couples.
A 1996 government study found that there are at least 1,049 such protections, rights, and responsibilities that come with marriage under federal law alone.
These protections include access to health care and medical decision making for a partner and children, parenting and immigration rights, inheritance, taxation, Social Security and other government benefits, rules for ending a relationship while protecting both parties, and the ability to pool resources to buy or transfer property without adverse tax consequences.
When heterosexual couples make a loving, life-long commitment to one another, the state formally recognizes their relationship as civil marriage. State recognition confers important protections, rights, and responsibilities on the married couple.
Some of these rights include pension and survivor benefits, hospital visitation, health insurance coverage, tax benefits and legal protections. These protections are currently not available to gay and lesbian Americans.
The very real legal protections and economic benefits that flow from a civil marriage, and the societal favor it bestows, are of profound importance to all American families The protections, benefits and responsibilities of marriage are designed to strengthen families and lend them critical support in times of need, such as illness, separation or death.
These same protections should be afforded to Gay and Lesbian couples as well. Fair-minded Virginians will not want to deny similar benefits to same-sex couples who are committed to their partners. Same-sex couples and their children need and deserve the protection, safety and security that marriage provides.
All families should share equally in the rights, protections and responsibilities. All families, straight and Gay, deserve health care, retirement protections, the ability to use needed funds to afford education or a home and the ability to give kids the security of being able to openly and proudly describe their families.
Last month Virginia Governor Tim Kaine clearly stated that he will vote against the measure when it appears on the November ballot.
According to an item appearing on April 11 in the Washington Post, Kaine said that the amendment, which received final approval from the General Assembly this winter, was too vague because it reads that the Virginia Constitution should not recognize "another union, partnership, or other legal status to which is assigned the rights, benefits, obligations, qualities, or effects of marriage."
He said this wording could adversely affect unmarried heterosexual couples.
Kaine added that he was concerned about "the broad wording of the proposed constitutional amendment," saying that it threatens "the constitutional rights of individuals to enter into private contracts, and also . . . the discretion of employers to extend certain benefits, such as health care coverage, to unmarried couples.
"For all these reasons," Kaine concluded, "I will vote against the marriage amendment in November, and I urge other Virginians to vote against it as well."
But let's look for a minute at the institution of marriage. All marriages have a civil component and some have a religious component. Marriages recognized by the state may not be recognized by certain religious institutions.
Church marriage is not the same thing as civil marriage. Some churches solemnize same-sex marriages and some do not. Each pastor, minister, rabbi and other religious leaders has the right to decide which couples they will marry and which they will refuse for whatever reasons.
In addition to defeating the marriage amendment initiative in November, Virginians should repeal the provisions of existing laws that already deny recognition to same-sex marriages performed in Virginia and in other jurisdictions. Simple fairness requires equal treatment for all Virginia couples who have formally pledged themselves to one another.
Additionally, just as the Commonwealth of Virginia recognizes heterosexual marriages performed in other states, equal treatment of out-of-state gay marriages and civil unions should also required by the state constitution just as our country's Constitution contains a provision that each state must give full faith and credit to the laws of any other state. Thus, a gay marriage performed in Massachusetts should carry the same weight in Virginia
But the law is a difficult mistress someone once quipped and indeed it can be. Think on this fact: The deficit reduction bill that President Bush signed recently includes 500 million dollars for secular or faith-based programs to promote and strengthen marriage.
But an administration official says the money cannot be used to promote same-sex marriages in Massachusetts.
I know I'm preaching to the choir this morning. But that is OK because sometimes even the choir needs to be rejuvenated and given new reasons to sing aloud the good news that someday we shall overcome the injustice, bigotry, and discrimination that hold us all back.
Marriage is a basic human right. The state cannot legislate that certain people cannot fall in love. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. used to say when people talked about interracial marriage, "Races do not fall in love and get married. Individuals fall in love and get married."
Let me share an item lifted from the Roanoke Times:
"Virginia is for lovers, so long as they are one man and one woman who vow to alter the state constitution.
Whereas members of the Virginia General Assembly are of a singular mind that marriage -- between one man and one woman -- will fail to survive without the full force of protection that the commonwealth can bring to bear...
Whereas lawmakers fret that an activist judge will someday overturn its statute banning same-sex marriage....
Whereas lawmakers desire to further prevent its homosexual citizens from eloping to an ungodly state and then, gasp, return to Virginia expecting equal protection....
Whereas lawmakers remain eager to pander to those elements of society that fear a same-sex couple's love might tear asunder their own marriages....
Whereas lawmakers deem it inevitable that Virginia must dispense of this threat through its constitution....
Whereas, lawmakers agree there is no reason to debate such a monumental resolution that will forever alter its very foundation....
Whereas, lawmakers cede the power and authority entrusted in them by the good people of Virginia and will place before the voters a referendum to inscribe in their sacrosanct constitutional document "that only a union between one man and one woman may be a marriage valid in or recognized by the Commonwealth...."
Whereas, in doing so, lawmakers abdicate their responsibility to explore the consequences of such action that could vest within the courts the power to prevent loved ones from making medical decisions, or to strip the courts of the power to prevent domestic abusers from terrorizing their partners, even if of the opposite sex.
Therefore, be it resolved that it is up to the good people of Virginia to protect the commonwealth's constitution from such frivolous intrusions on the sanctity of freedoms ascribed therein, not the least of which is enumerated in the Bill of Rights -- "That no free government, or the blessing of liberty, can be preserved to any people but by a firm adherence to justice, moderation, temperance, frugality, and virtue, and by frequent recurrence to fundamental principles," the first of which is equal protection under the law."
If passed, and I am sorely afraid that it will pass this amendment would eviscerate one of America's core constitutional principles-the right to equal protection. Amending the Constitution solely to discriminate against a particular group of Americans is unethical, unfair, and wrong-headed.
As Unitarian Universalists we believe in equality and love, not division and fear. We know from our religious experience of worshipping and being together that what unites us as families and as people is much greater than what divides us.
When I began this morning, I said that while I believe I can know a great deal about each of you just by looking out at your faces, I can never know what is in your heart. But what I hope resides there is true love.
I hope that what fills your heart is love and a desire to see the day when our bumper stickers will read—Virginia is for lovers—and truly mean it.
May we all take to heart what Shakespeare wrote so long ago and make a promise to ourselves and all those we love that we shall never to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.