December 12, 2004

Rev. Henry Ticknor
Unitarian Universalist Church of the Shenandoah Valley

Making Ready

In case you have been really distracted lately, I mean really distracted, let me remind you that another Christmas is fast approaching.

Now last year at this time, it was a little easier to think about celebrating Christmas because we had had our first snowfall, a year ago this weekend to be exact, and the temperature was much colder than it has been so far this December.

For those hearty souls who dared forth on this past Friday evening to enjoy Jeanne Walton’s gift of carols and Lauk’s intemperate egg-nog, I think the yuletide season has begun in earnest.

But no matter. Regardless, if you are filled with overflowing abundance of Joux Noel, or a tad of bah-humbug, I invite you to get comfortable as you can in your chair, to take a deep breath, exhale slowly. To relax and put away your burdens and imagine that….

Snow is falling on a quiet and serene December afternoon. Inside the house, a fire glows in the fireplace. There are few modern distractions like televisions, telephones, cars, or radios, and the only holiday decorations are a Christmas tree, candles, greens and simple homemade decorations.

Christmas presents, if there are any, are inexpensive remembrances, or intangible spiritual gifts. Family members are in a good mood and enjoy each other's company in simple ways, like taking walks or sleigh rides together, or gathering around the fire to sing carols or play musical instruments.

It doesn't take much to make people laugh, and if there is work to be done, such as the preparation of traditional food, the tasks are shared or completed in some magical way without effort.

The children are happy and well behaved and enjoy each other's company. A relaxed, loving atmosphere washes over everyone and awakens them to all the religious or spiritual possibilities that unite them at Christmas.

There are no elaborate Christmas centerpieces, exotically decorated trees, tables set with Spode Christmas china, or three-hour gift-unwrapping sessions. Most of the activities that require a lot of money and preparation have vanished, so people have the peace of mind to be receptive to each other and the world around them. This universal dream shows that at Christmas people want to be in harmony with the natural world, united with friends and relatives, filled with a spirit of love and acceptance, and have their everyday cares lightened with fun and laughter. This Christmas meditation is from a wonderful book "Unplug the Christmas Machine," written by Jo Robinson and Jean Staeheli.

And, indeed, this is the very image of Christmas past and present that stores and the media try to sell. They present a picture that tells us that our families will be together and we will be happy. Our children will be well behaved and grateful. Spouses and partners will be nurturing, kind, appreciative and generous. We will have enough money and enough time to buy all our presents and to entertain all our friends. That we will have fun, be warm, be safe and that we will be truly loved.

Now, I don’t know what Christmas is like in your families, but this isn’t exactly my experience. In this story no one is running out to the stores at the last minute to be sure there are an equal number of gifts for all the relatives. No one is crying because an off-handed remark hurt their feelings, and no one is trying to put tab A into slot B with one hand while carefully balancing parts C and D with the other.

No one is grossed-out when they are told what the main ingredient in mince pie really is. No one is sick. No one is abusive. No one is intoxicated. No one is staying away because of hurt feelings and distant slights.

The christmas of our meditation isn’t the Christmas that most of us experience. But, as the book’s authors ask:

If most people are longing for such a simple celebration, why are their holidays so complicated? Why don't more people pare down their activities and obligations until they have the peaceful, spontaneous celebration they envision?

Well, why indeed?

Writing in a small book titled Hundred Dollar Holiday, Bill Mckibben provides this quick history of everything we need to know but were afraid to ask concerning Christmas.

According to McKibben, the gospels offer no clues whatsoever to the date of Jesus’ birth—not even the season. As the early Christian church aged and grew, some of its leaders began to try and pinpoint the date of Jesus’ birth…Clement, Bishop of Alexandria chose November 18; Hippolytus declared that Jesus must have been born on a Wednesday, the same day God created the sun. Other authorities picked March 28, or April 19, or May 20th.

It was only in the fourth century that December 25th emerged as the Feast of the Nativity—a date that on the old Julian calendar coincided with the winter solstice and the Roman feast of Saturnalia.

There were several other compelling reasons to link the Christmas celebration with the other mid-winter festivals. December marked what the Christmas historian Stephen Nissenbaum calls a major “punctuation mark” in the agricultural calendar. Since farmers couldn’t slaughter animals until the weather was cold enough to keep the meat from rotting there was a plentiful supply of fresh meat.

The new wine and beer had just fermented. And it was a time of relative leisure as the crops were all in and the preparations for the next growing season had not yet begun. Little wonder, then, that late December became a time of “celebratory excess.”

The Puritan minister Cotton Mather described this season as a time for “reveling, dicing, carding, masking, and all licentious liberty.” But not everyone was happy with these goings-on and some tried to put an end to such celebrations. Nissenbaum continues:

“In New England, for the first two centuries of white settlement, most people did not celebrate Christmas. In fact, the holiday was systematically suppressed by Puritans during the colonial period. It was actually illegal to celebrate Christmas in Massachusetts between 1659 and 1881.

Only in the middle of the nineteenth century did Christmas gain legal recognition as an official public holiday. Writing near the end of that century, one New Englander, born in 1822, recalled going to school as a boy on Christmas day, adding that even as late as 1850, in Worcester, Massachusetts, “The courts were in session on that day, the markets open, and I doubt if there had ever been a religious service on that day, unless it were Sunday, in that town.”

But over time, Christmas was re-legitimized and gradually what economists would call “market forces” carried us to the mass commercialization of the holiday that we see all around us today.

It appears that some of the blame can be placed at the feet of good old F. W. Woolworth. You see, one year Woolworth was persuaded to stock a collection of German-made glass ornaments in his small store. In two days they were sold out and Woolworth had brilliant idea…you might say it was an “epiphany” of sorts. Soon He was traveling regularly to Europe and purchasing large quantities of decorations. Woolworth is reported to have said that the Christmas season “Is our harvest time—make it pay.”

Now that’s a jolly how-do-you do. Christmas distilled down to its core essence—Christmas as little more than a cash cow for retailers.

However, with this growing emphasis on gift giving came new problems. As presents became more extravagant, expectations increased accordingly, and so did disappointments. Quoting letters written between 1825 and 1835, Nissenbaum provides a few wonderful examples of Christmas problems experienced by one family. He has organized these complications of the holiday into some familiar contemporary categories.

1. Forgot to buy presents: On Christmas Eve, 1832, Charles Sedgwick of Lenox, Massachusetts wrote, “I am in consternation for I doubt not (that) expectation is on tiptoe for presents from me and I have not as yet got one for anybody.”

2. Presents break: Writing about a wooden toy dog given to one of the children Sedgwick notes, “We were so successful with Willie as to protract his pleasure for at least an hour during which time his little wooden dog kept up a merry barking; but alas how fleeting are all worldly pleasures—one untimely blow scattered his disjointed limbs. Willie gave a howl of despair as his limbs were torn asunder….”

3. Hard to find just the right present: Your stockings are horridly ugly but they were the only tolerable ones I could find.

4.The perils of holiday shopping: Here Sedgwick’s daughter-in-law, Catherine, is writing to a relative, “I meant to have written you a longer letter, but Robert has just given me some money to buy toys for the children and you know what an arduous affair that is.

5. The need for practical gifts: The children had their usual harvest of dolls, tea sets, soldiers, horses and furniture of every description—every useless thing.

6. And the all too familiar question…What is it?: The children are delighted with your gifts—but do explain the use of Bessy’s present from Aunt Kitty—we none of us know.

The early 19th century also saw the introduction in this country of seasonal traditions such as Santa Clause and the Christmas tree. Again, according to Nissenbaum , “There is a belief among those who care about such things that the Christmas tree was spread throughout American culture by German immigrants. There is some truth to this.

But, much like the notion that Santa Clause was brought to these shores by the Dutch settlers of New Amsterdam a belief that also conforms to our desire to see our Christmas customs as rooted in something old fashioned and authentic. ” It turns out that the Christmas tree as we know it has it roots, if you will, in our Unitarian past.

In the early 1800’s a certain Karl Follen was exiled from Germany for political activities. After his arrival in America he landed a job at Harvard as a teacher of Germanic languages. Additionally, he also formed close ties with the Unitarian Boston Brahmins and he found Unitarianism to be wholly compatible with his religious beliefs.

In 1830 his strong advocacy for abolition led to his dismissal from Harvard just a couple of weeks before Christmas. That year a fellow abolitionist, Harriet Martineau, watched as Follen decorated his tree with dozens of wax candles. While she may not have seen the first American Christmas tree her description of it made it the first well known one.

She made it clear that Follen was reacting to the stern views of the Calvinists that children were somehow debased and unworthy creatures. Follen rejected this notion and worked hard to establish Christmas as child centered celebration. Follen wrote a friend that, “Such festivals for the feelings would be a great improvement of the moral state of the union. At about this time Clement Moore’s poem A Visit From St. Nicholas was widely printed for the first time.

I’m not sure that there really is a more stressful time of year and not all that much has much changed in almost 180 years. So, how do we begin to unplug the Christmas machine? Well, one way we can begin is by trying to be more intentional about what the holiday means to us and our loved ones.

For every Martha Stewart in our lives, there is someone suffering from depression, financial insecurity and health problems. If many of us are longing for a simpler celebration, why do we make our lives so complicated? Why don't more people pare down their activities and obligations to the point where they can have the peaceful, spontaneous celebration they envision? Let me suggest some alternative approaches to Christmas.

Think about those things that give you the greatest pleasure this time of year. Is it decorating the house, shopping for gifts, entertaining, attending concerts of holiday music, family Christmas gatherings, activities with children or grandchildren? Try to prioritize those activities that are the most satisfying and try do simplify those activities that are on the ‘I ought to” list.

Additionally, by doing this, we can help our children to adjust their expectations of just what Christmas should be about. We can give them the gift of our presence by taking time off from work. We can be more relaxed about how the house looks. We can try to attend more events, social or entertainment that include activities for children.

Ask yourself and your family what you value most about Christmas? Is it a time to help those who are less fortunate? Is it a time to be together as a family? A time to entertain and to exchange gifts? A time to be relaxed and renewed?

If you can’t travel to be with the ones you love, why not send a silly video or a photo album of the year’s events? Invoke a “make it or bake it” rule for gift giving. Although kids may still need the thrill of purchased gifts, they can help keep family’s costs down by giving homemade gifts such as crafts, homemade CD’s, or “coupons” offering to complete a special chore.

If you have children (young or grown), discuss what’s happening in the world and how moderation and charity can be applied. Ask them for suggestions on how this holiday season can be made more meaningful and affordable for the family. Think about exchanging gifts of time such as babysitting, running errands or housework.

Now is the time we need to remind ourselves of the blessings we have overlooked in our lives. Think back to your childhood and you’ll find that memories of toys and trinkets are hazy, but times shared with loves ones much will be much more vivid.

If one of your values is to make your Christmas simpler, consider buying gifts from charitable organizations such as the Heifer Project; consider giving gifts of time and support to charitable organizations. Give the gift of volunteerism.

In reality, It’s not easy to unplug the Christmas machine and in reality not everyone wants to. And that is OK. The Christmas machine impacts each of us differently. But, as Johnson and Staeheli conclude, “The key to unplugging the Christmas machine is knowing what you really want. People who take the time to identify their longings, and are realistic about which of those longings gives them great joy and satisfaction.” To this end they offer these words from the Christmas Pledge, which is at the heart of how to unplug the Christmas Machine.

Believing in the true spirit of Christmas,

I commit myself to

Remember those people who truly need my gifts

Express my love in more direct ways than gifts

Examine my holiday activities in the light of my deepest values

Be a peacemaker within my circle of family and friends

Rededicate myself to my spiritual growth.

This Christmas may we all sit together at the table finding faith and common ground the best that we are able, lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.

Amen and Blessed Be